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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

FWG Ice Skates...Hilarity Ensues

Who are you kidding, your favorite part of this blog is the "Final Thoughts." So here. Enjoy.
More Final Thoughts...

I spent the night in the Adirondack region (Glens Falls) meeting (more) of the girlfriend's family. I squeezed into ice skates two sizes too small and again confirmed my lack of athletic ability. It's like that skating bear you see at the low rent circus. In theory it's great, in practice...well...no bear can skate, and neither can this fat white guy.

Even worse: I've played hockey my entire life. Apparently poorly. But let me reinforce why I love my girlfriend so much. She always manages to make me feel better about this sort of thing. "Here, hold your hockey stick. You'll look like an athlete when people look back at this picture."Great point. Which brings up another great point:

Why I'll Lie to My Kids (also doubles as a great book title)
-your father won the Heisman (the wonders of Photoshop)
-your father won 8 gold medals (why does he bear such a strong resemblance to Michael Phelps?...shut up and eat your peas)
-your father was a running back who scored a lot of touchdowns...and apparently used to be black (Donny Brown gives FWG his old jersey for this one)

I ate (again? c'mon) at the restaurant where Rachel Ray once worked. Only I could be star-struck by a Food-Network star (keyword here: food).

Dennis Leary is hilarious. I have one word for your his book, "Why We Suck"
Changed my life. It will change yours too. (No, it won't make you fatter.)

Looking at that picture again: I look like some sort of hockey-stick-wielding terrorist:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LMAO!, your blogs are awesome!