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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Nigerian Hookers

This is something I can't wait to tell my kids, "when Daddy was out of college, he played football in Europe, visited Spain and got attacked by Nigerian prostitutes as he exited a bar at 4am drunk off of CruzCampo." Who thought that the stories of my days playing football in Europe would have so little to do with football and so much to do with European night life.

I left this bar in Spain at closing time, and to be honest it was time for me to go. There's only so many times you can fall off a barstool and still be served. I make my way to in the street and immediately received what the Austrians call "Luft-Schlagen" or "the air slap" Meaning when the cold night air hits delivers an immediate, sobering blow to your rosy cheeks. Imagine my continued surprise, when in the post luft-schlagen moment I was mobbed by no less than seven Nigerian whores.

Read the rest HERE

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

word problem ... if a FWG under the influence of CruzCampo leaves a bar in Barcelona at 4am traveling east at 1 km/h and a posse of clean Nigerian hookers proceeds west at 2 km/h, what is the elapsed time before a game of '9-ball pocket-pool' breaks out?

At least they offered to "chalk your cue", right?

Bet they flashed the trademark Orbit smile (complete with incisor glint) as they made off with your stash!

Their pimp must be the person emailing me here in the states about his deceased uncle (a former oil executive killed in tragic accident). Supposedly, this relative has US $8,500,000.00 in assets frozen in Gwagwalada Commerce Bank. His letters are hard to understand due to poor sentence structure. Plus, I do not understand how he is going to split the assets with me after I send my money to Western Union.

hah, the word verification of 'falation' must be a mistake; 'fellation' would make more sense.