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Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Vikings Game

The Austrian Football League was founded in 1985 with its premier team being the Vienna Vikings who have won the Euro Bowl numerous times. Yet the most prolific game played was this past weekend, when the Carinthian Black Lions took down the Vienna Vikings in four quarters of football that epitomized David versus Goliath.

Read the rest HERE

Ignorant or accomodating: you be the judge

Sat down to breakfast today at the hotel, and the woman hosting us came over with a prepared breakfast. Delightful!--who doesnt love breakfast meat? Ill tell you who--communists and terrorists. So there I am enjoying my kaffee---and the same woman approaches with an enthusiastic smile on her face. Instead of a bread basket full of typical Austrian fare--there is a basket full of white American bread. Wonderbread.
She looked at me with one of those ''you know you want it looks''
I couldn't help but think, is this the same as me approaching our quarterback DJ Hernandez with a basket full of tortillas? I'll get back to you on that one--but I'm gonna go with she was just trying to make me feel at home, so a big thank you to her.
TIA
This Is Austria

Monday, May 25, 2009

An Austrian Traffic Jam


Say what you will about Carinthia being a "Small Town"---but this is better than city traffic.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Fire Still Burns!


Yesterday I played in a game that is now tied for first with the best football game I have ever played in. The Carinthian Black Lions' victory over the Vienna Vikings is some of the best football I have ever had the distinct honor and pleasure of being associated with. More to come soon....

The Story Behind This Blog

I am always on the lookout for stories about how this blog came to be, the different perspectives and interpretations are funny. But as the blog has evolved (look for new changes/features in coming weeks) I think it is important to provide some context and background for new readers. Kevin Duffy was a reporter for the UConn Newspaper for four years, he emailed me this column he wrote, which was his final feature as a journalist at UConn. He recently started his own blog, which you can find here (check it out, trust me). Below is that article.

Rob Lunn needed something to distract him.

When he was a freshman on the UConn football team, Lunn redshirted and watched from the sidelines, something he was not accustomed to. So he started keeping a journal.

“It wasn’t a journal like ‘Dear Diary, today I met Randy Edsall and he was mean to me,’” Lunn joked.

Instead, it was a comprehensive recollection of things that came up in practice, games or in the locker room. Sometimes he analyzed the X’s and O’s. Other times he recalled quirky stories about teammates. He enjoyed writing, but said the journal was mostly a means of keeping himself during his redshirt year.

Little did he know, it would turn out to be much, much more.

Not your stereotypical football player

On the surface, Lunn is everything the term "football player" embodies. He's big, he's strong, and according Lorelle Schaub, his former roommate, he's "a slob."

Schaub, a senior on the UConn women's volleyball team, is a good friend of Lunn who got closed out of housing and was scrambling to find a place to live at the last minute. It came as no surprise that Lunn offered an empty room in his off-campus apartment to her. Since then, Schaub describes Lunn as "one of my best friends."

"He's really the nicest guys, one of the most caring people I've ever met," Schaub said.

As Schaub and Lunn began to spend more time together, she quickly realized that Lunn was a very unique individual.

"Even as athletes, we still have stereotypes," Schaub said. "You know, football players are dumb, basketball players skip class."

Lunn didn't quite fit the mold.

At the end of the day, most players went back to the dorms and play video games.

"Not to say I'm above the whole video game," Lunn said. "But I haven't owned a video game system since Sega Genesis."

Instead, Lunn went back to his apartment—which he refers to as a "library"—and read. Politics, history, sports novels (he lists Joe Namath's biography as one of his favorite reads), you name it. Lunn has probably read it. He even read "Marley and Me," a book that was eventually turned into a children's movie starring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston.

"I go through a couple of books every week or so," Lunn said.

Aside from reading, Lunn has a sharp interest in politics. After all, he was a political science major.

On Dec. 4, 2008, Lunn showed up to UConn football's weekly media day wearing a "Jena-6" T-Shirt that he borrowed from teammate Cody Brown. He was protesting the second-degree attempted murder charges that six black teenagers in Jena, La. were initially dealt after assaulting a white student, an act that whites in the area had frequently done to blacks without receiving such a charge.

"A lot of that [political awareness] comes from his family," Schaub said.

In fact, much of it stems from Lunn’s close relationship with his father, Robert, a former Justice on the New York Supreme Court.

"You should have seen some of the dinner table conversations," Lunn said. "Having him as a father got me more into politics than say, reading a textbook about it would, because I knew that was his real life."

Lunn's home in Penfield, N.Y. was equipped with an advanced security system and always had a state trooper outside playing watchman. Lunn's father even received death threats for some of the rulings he made in court.

"He had some pretty high profile cases," Lunn said. "Looking back, it was pretty interesting—especially considering he could never get a speeding ticket."

On the Field

At Penfield Central high school (Penfield, N.Y.), Lunn was a "big fish in a small pond."

He was the most dominant football player that Penfield Central high school had seen in years. He was one of the few Division-I prospects to ever roam hallways of Penfield Central. He was the biggest kid on the team. He was the strongest. He was one of the most athletic.

But when he accepted a scholarship offer to UConn, Lunn was no longer big man on campus. He was just another player.

"It was a tough adjustment," Lunn said. "I wasn't even on the top ten on the strength board...in my class, let alone the entire team."

The years rolled by and Lunn sat on the sidelines. He redshirted in his first season, which he described as a "culture shock," and netted just two tackles the following year. As a sophomore, he registered three. All the while, he maintained his journal, keeping a personal record of everything that went on.

But after totaling just five tackles in his first two seasons, Lunn seriously considered transferring. He had the University of New Hampshire coach dialed up and ready to go. He carefully weighed his options and ultimately decided to keep working and stick it out at UConn. He calls it the best decision he’s ever made.

He spent the following summer working out harder than ever and getting into good enough shape to challenge for a starting spot. He ended up doing that and more.

Lunn's junior season, when the Huskies went 9-3 and earned a bid to the Meineke Car Care Bowl, proved to be his breakthrough year. Lunn racked up 37 tackles and 3.5 sacks and drew some interest from NFL personnel.

“Rob became an impact player for us and he also became one of the leaders of our defense,” said defensive coordinator Hank Hughes. “He’s a guy that worked very hard, led by example and did all the little things for us.”

"I wasn't like 'Yeah, first round all the way,'" Lunn said. "But I thought I'd have a chance to make a camp and maybe make a roster."

Things didn’t work out in 2008, however. After battling through injuries, Lunn was replaced in the starting line-up by redshirt freshmen Twyon Martin and Kendall Reyes. He was quickly relegated to a being a situational player and ended his senior year with just 13 tackles.

Lunn graduated in December and soon after, signed a one-year contract to play professionally in Austria. Even he admits that the NFL is no longer an option.

The Blog

In his final semester at UConn, Lunn was assigned to start a blog for a Race and Politics class. He didn't think much of it at first, maybe make a few posts here and there, get the grade and get out of college. But he couldn't help but post some of his journal entries. After a few posts, he received good feedback from his teacher. From there on out, his blog—wwww.lunn65.blogspot.combecame his journal.

Through the first month or so of his blog, which he titled "Thoughts from a Fat, White Guy," Lunn often joked about his mother and father being the only ones who ever read it. Then, New Haven Register UConn football beat writer Chip Malafronte caught wind of Lunn's blog. He quickly linked it to his own blog, "Chips Runway Ramblings," which is coincidentally the only UConn football blog Lunn reads.

"Chip Malafronte knows what he's talking about," Lunn said. "He has a good grasp on the game and he presents it in a creative and funny way."

Once Lunn's blog—which included serious insight about UConn football and some off-beat comments about his teammates—hit the media, it took off. It was constantly discussed "The Boneyard," a popular UConn football forum and by students on the UConn campus. Lunn’s mixture of humor and analysis was an instant success.

In one post, Lunn mentioned how he was flattered that Hughes called him "the brains of the defensive operation" in an ESPN interview.

"That is the same man who once told me I was playing so bad that I was stealing from the program being on scholarship," Lunn wrote. "Thanks coach, I think."

And his analysis on the Virginia fans: "There's something not so intimidating about fans that look like they just stepped out of J-Crew catalog," he wrote.

While picking on other teams—he called the West Virginia fans "toothless hicks"—certainly was a staple of the blog, making fun of his teammates, particularly good friend and standout linebacker Scott Lutrus, was a regular feature as well.

"Ever wonder how long it takes an All-American to get dressed to go out?" Lunn wrote in his blog for UConnBowl.com. "The answer is too long, my friends."

On their second day in Charlotte, N.C., the plan was for the team to be out in the city by 8 p.m. Apparently, that was a difficult task for UConn's star freshman linebacker. Here's how Lunn described the first twenty minutes of Lutrus' routine:

7:05: Enter Shower

7:06 Proceed to Sing UConn Fight Song

7:08 Proceed to Sing UConn Fight Song like Barry White

7:10 Proceed to Sing UConn Fight Song like Prince

7:15 Yell to Roommate if he has an Extra Loofa. (He didn't)

7:20 Exit Shower after having drained a good portion of the Atlantic Ocean

7:25 Don Hotel-Issue White Terry Cloth Robe

7:26 Ask Roommate "Does this make me look fat?" (It didn't)

Eventually, Edsall heard about the blog. He checked it out and immediately told Lunn to tone it down—especially when it came to making fun of people from the south—because "that sort of thing could affect recruiting," according to Lunn.

"At first, I think [Edsall] was a little scared by it," Lunn said. "If I did something wrong in practice, he thought it was a distraction."

"I'll shut it down right now," Lunn screamed in a high-pitch imitation of his coach. "I'll shut it the (expletive) down right now."

Luckily for Lunn, Edsall didn't shut it down.

Lunn blogged all the way through the season and then kept going when he was offered a one-year contract to play professional football in Austria for one year. Since then, the site has taken on a life of its own. With the help of some friends, Lunn has launched TheFatWhiteGuy.com, which is the same as his old blog, just with a more professional URL. His girlfriend’s roommate made flyers, T-Shirts and designed logos and graphics for the site.

"She's probably done $5,000-$10,000 of work and she's done it all for free," Lunn said. "Only in college can you have stuff like that done."

In addition to Thoughts from a Fat, White Guy, Lunn has blogged for Washington Redskins' Chris Cooley, who operates his own blog. Lunn has also done some work for the New England Sports Network, where he is a regular college football columnist.

"I'm making some money at NESN, so between that and football, I'm doing O.K. right now," Lunn said. "But I want to turn the writing thing into a full-time gig. I want to end up doing something like ESPN's Brian Bennett."

Lunn’s friends, including Schaub, couldn’t see it any other way.

“It’s the perfect job for him,” Schaub said. “Writing about football and making fun of people—those are his two passions. This is his dream job.”

Thursday, May 21, 2009

FWG Spots Banana Hammock On Sale: Hilarity Ensues


While I have been over here, I have experienced many different things. No free refills at McDonalds--that's fine, I could stand to lose a few. I learned what it means to really drink beer, also fine. I have been fortunate to have great teammates who are willing to show an "ignorant" American around their beautiful country. That being said, there was one thing that had been evading me. That's right, the "banana hammock." A staple of European swimwear, "Der Bader-Hosen" a glorified tube sock gleaming in the summer sun. So when I went into the grocery store and saw that there was an incredibly reasonably priced (3 Euro) bader hosen in the clearance aisle, I jumped all over it. Of course, my girlfriend, sister, and teammates were all there to document the entire process, which then raised another point: should I ever have to get a "real job" will these pictures make me completely unemployable? The answer? A resounding "Yes!"
I can see it now, "Mr. Lunn, impressive resume. I have never met anyone who could speak fluent Danish and also won the Nobel Prize, yet we have...these (slides pictures across table). I'm sorry Mr. Lunn, you're just not "Burger King Material."

I'm not sure whether or not to give the following a "NSFW" tag....but you can be the judge.





Hail To The "Keyboard Nuts"

FAN MAIL!
-I love getting emails. Entertaining emails. Emails with their own witty responses. Makes my job easier. Enjoy.
NEW YORK (AP) - CBS News veteran Morley Safer says he trusts citizen journalism as much as he would trust citizen surgery.

The "60 Minutes" correspondent was honored by Quinnipiac University Wednesday with an award
named for one of Safer's old bosses, Fred Friendly. He accepted it with a warning that the business
problems of newspapers threaten all of journalism, and the public's precarious right to know.

Safer said good journalism needs structure and responsibility. He considers the blogosphere no
alternative, saying it is crammed with the ravings and manipulations of every nut
with a keyboard.

Safer is 77 now and works part time. He says he has no intention of giving up what he considers
the best job in the world.


Dear Morely,
Obviously you have never read Thoughts from a Fat White Guy or Walk On Boy.
Enlightening journalistic material combined with inner passion, keen insight, hilarious
humor and gripping 'Man-Talk'. And since when have you, Dan, Roger, Andy and
CBS, for that matter, had any real relevance lately?
Things were fine as long as Connie was still giving you guys a little, but she's apparently
grown tired of your flaccid advances. Jim Nance will still give us our One Shining Moment
and ya'll will still get paid to carry the Daytoner Five-Hunert.
So work even less, or better yet R-E-T-I-R-E (permanently).
Sincerely,
Barry & The KeyboredNutts

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Fat White Guy Redefines Flaccid



Last game we beat the Falcons (I'd tell you their home city, but I can't pronounce it and smart money is on the fact that you don't really care). Our four-touchdown victory margin was overshadowed by the fact that at one point during the second quarter I looked down and realized my right thumb was now facing backwards and touching my wrist. My brief moment of curiosity gave way to panic, which then of course gave way to "What the fuck do I do now?"

Read the rest HERE

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Suing the NCAA


Do you know Sam Keller? Probably not. His days on the gridiron have passed, but his football legend is just being written. That’s because Sam Keller is suing the NCAA.

After a promising start to his career as a quarterback at Arizona State, including starting as a freshman in 2003, Keller was soon relocated to back up duty. He eventually suffered a season-ending hand injury and transferred to Nebraska for one season. He subsequently went undrafted in 2008, and was cut by the Buccaneers and Raiders in the preseason.

This is the story for many college athletes, myself included. The fame and fortune do not always find you. Not everyone signs a million dollar contract.

Read the rest HERE

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Paulus Story

Its official, Greg Paulus is now "former basketball start turned quarterback." Confirmed yesterday by the Associated Press, the former Duke star will be playing (hold your breath) for Syracuse University. Mediocrity awaits.

|| RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) -......"My gut and my heart were telling me that (Syracuse) was the best place for me," Paulus said from Durham, N.C., during a conference call.The decision ends a month of speculation whether the one-time star high school quarterback from Syracuse would resume his football career.||

I have so much to say about this I'm not even sure where to start. I am from Upstate New York (hold your applause). Christian Brothers Academy (CBA), where Paulus graduated from is like the New York Yankee's of high school football in New York. Always trying to buy their championships, then hiding behind the "we don't recruit" mantra. I hated CBA with a burning passion. That being said, I am happy that Paulus is going to Syracuse. Ecstatic in fact. If Paulus so much as sniffs a starting role in the 'Cuse offense in 2009 it pretty much guarantees another UConn football win against the Orange.


Read the rest HERE

Friday, May 15, 2009

Excuse My Hiatus, Please

You will have to excuse my latest lack of "blogging"---the girlfriend came in from Vienna and I have been subsequently indisposed... anyway Walk-on-Boy has saved me. Enjoy the read and support a good cause.
-FWG

Rob kindly allowed me to guest post today because - well, he gets more traffic - and the only people who look at my site have ostensibly donated {Hooray supporting family!} and by doing this I get my annual good deed out of the way, so I don't have to scramble over the Holidays. This is also my one time of the year that I plan ahead. It's always good to get two birds stoned at once.


I'll cut to the chase: Head over to the Juvenile Diabetes site and donate if you feel so inclined. Or donate to some other charity of your choosing. You can omit a beer or burger from your weekend entertainment fund to help a great cause.

If you need a little motivation, I am shamelessly whoring myself {Not like that.} out in a Create-a-Player {In the same vein as the NCAA/Madden video game.} Contest. There will be two winners. The philanthropist who donates the most AND the one who has the most creative name {Please note with WOB in your donation note.}. Those two get to determine my accoutrement for our upcoming games {I reserve the right to veto anything that will affect actual performance or that is past the bounds of absurdity even for me. Other than that, let your creative juices flow and I will dance as your little puppet.} on May 30th {Largest donation} and June 12th {Best name}. The photo documentation will be its own blog post. Hell, I'll throw in a guest post for free. So that's determining my wardrobe and a guest post {At Walk On Boy, unless Rob gives the all clear at FWG. I haven't cleared it with him.}

Now that the nitty-gritty is out of the way, I can tell you why I care so much. Both my brother {The donation page I linked to.} and my sister {Didn't link to hers because she's much closer to her goal than our brother. Yes, she is the youngest. And the most mature of us three.} have juvenile diabetes. My brother finished up his career as a linebacker at NIU this past season and just completed his degree in Health Education. Watching him convince curious onlookers that he's shooting steroids or junk when giving insulin is always a good time. My sister is a sophomore in high school, a three sport athlete majoring in awesome {OK, so you can't have a major in high school. But she should be getting college credit.} and picked up the gift for quoting movie quotes early. She knew this whole scene from Tommy Boy before she was ten and before she'd actually seen the movie. That actually probably says more about my brother and I. How about this? She laughed at me for five minutes after I took out a handkerchief to blow my nose, and then said, "Why do you have a hanky?" Just to make you laugh, Choppity. Just to make you laugh.

They're two of the toughest people I know; I don't recall either one of them complaining about having diabetes. In fact, I think my sister just shrugged when I asked her how she was after she found out. While it can be controlled with proper treatment, diet and exercise, diabetics are at a higher risk for other health complications and it requires a constant vigil to maintain proper blood sugar levels. A cure is close, and every dollar helps.

Because I couldn't find video of Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock claiming diabetes is a 'white myth' and testing out a wheel on his foot or Jimmy Kimmel doing Karl Malone proposing a name change from diabetes to live-a-betes {The full text of the sketch is in Comment 1), here's Wilford Brimley jamming out with DIABEEEETUS.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Eat To Compete



Monday, May 11, 2009

The Fomerly Fat White Guy Project...UPDATE!

Here is the update on the "contestants" as we are now 2 weeks into the competition:

Remember what is at stake here: UConn Tickets, T-shirts, Ownership of this blog, personal pride, self respect (or lack there of).


Fat Pickle Fatty:

How did I get to be such a fat ass? Hard work, that’s how! A commitment too bad food choices, 50 beers a week, and little to no exercise. The “perfect storm” of fatness. I’m 6 foot tall and currently weigh 203.5 lbs. My “playing weight” is 180-ish. So I could stand to lose 20. And truth is I’m ready to. And I love a contest/bet/challenge.


Tex:

Walk on Boy:
Tony:
Put down that beer...what is that? Schlitz? For shame, for shame.

Fat Pat:
The two weeks have been kind to Fat Pat---careful not to be distracted by his beautiful mane of sparsely distributed chest hair.FWG:
I was told that it's not fair if I do not have a personal stake in this competition. So here you have it, my "before" picture(s).

Still waiting on updates from Morgan and Martin.....post that later.



Final Thoughts (yes, it HAS been a while since I've had any):

Thinking of doing the "Ten Commandments of Blogging":
"Thou hall not blog on the Sabbath, lest he receiveth a brandy glass full of brown M&Ms, with an orientation of north by northwest"

I am so out of touch with American movies, but having visited Movies.com today, I am willing to bet that "The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" is not exactly "Oscar worthy." The smart money is on "Hotel For Dogs"

Yesterday my teammate Ryan was told by am Austrian club-goer that he always enjoyed it when "Germans tried to speak English---stick to German, you're English is terrible." Ryan is neither German, nor does he speak a lick of it. That being said, his English is pretty poor.






Saturday, May 9, 2009

....and the natives are restless

Got this little piece of "fan mail" over @ NESN.COM --- in response to the piece I ran about our last game against the Gladiators.

Hey Lunn,
I think you fail to realize that you are playing (football) in a tiny village of Austria, for a 3rd tier team. It isnt Austrian Football” and neither does “Portschach” represent Austria. Its a tiny village in a state that is, well, different. The Carinthina Black Lions, your team, arent very good at all, and now that I read about your cigarettes at half time I do understand why they are so miserably bad. I think that if it werent for your DJ Hernandez who is an exceptional athlete, you wouldnt even be able to beat most Division 3 teams (like for example the Gladiators). So maybe next year you can play in a CITY of Austria for a CONTENDING team – although based on your performance thus far, I rather doubt they would pay for your services. The worst of it is though, how you expose your teammates and organisation to ridicule…they really got a lemon and although I dont like the Carinthian Black Pussy Cats, I do feel sorry for them.

Maybe you pass by Vienna some time again and we can show you a thing or two about real football in Austria.

Rgds, Cookie

Ahhh where to start with this? Am I the only on that finds humor in the whole "cigarettes at half time" thing? I hope not. Truth is, this IS Austrian Football---not American Football in Austria. Trust me, there is a difference (Personal Foul in the endzone = 2 points?--yeah, that happened). For the record the Carinthian Black Lions did a number on the Gladiators, dismantling them and winning by more than 4 touchdowns. DJ has proved to be probably THE premier quarterback in the AFL, providing serious headaches for opposing defenses. And when it comes to me playing in a "real" city well, I'm no statistician but I'd say 8 sacks in 5 games isn't too bad. But, in the mean time me and my band of flunkies (read: The best group of guys in Austria) are gonna keep on keepin' on. Put that one in your translator and smoke it.

Questions? Comments? More Fan Mail? TheFatWhiteGuyATgmail.com


Friday, May 8, 2009

We've Got Graz

Our upcoming game is against Graz. I've mentioned this in earlier posts (pay attention). Graz is the hometown of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Austrians have a conflicted relationship with the "Austrian Oaf"--a love/hate relationship that I don't fully understand. To Americans, the Governator is the American Dream personified: Come to America with little to no money, become larger than life, then marry a Kennedy.
To some Austrians he abandoned their country, went all "right wing," and eventually sentenced a man to death (a HUGE no-no in this part of Europe). Let me put it this way, the American teammates put this question to our Austrian teammates during some locker room banter, "Who would you say the most famous Austrian is?" In true American fashion only asking questions we already (thought we) knew the answer to.
"Ummmm I vood seey---ze guy who invented Red Bull."
There you have it, Dietrich Mateschitz (Who??-exactly) is the most famous Austrian,at least in the eyes of the 20-something demographic. That blows my mind.
Anyway, the game against Graz:
Their Quarterback (an Austrian) can really sling it, and they love the option, toss sweep, perimeter run. Should be a real test for our defense, who is battling injuries across the board, from defensive line to the safety position. Stay tuned, and I'll be back. (See what I just did there?)





Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Price Is Wrong, Bob

So many things I want to say about this post:
1) What have I always said about Steelers Fans?
2) This guy is the Pride of Pennsylvania (move over Steve Brouse!)
3) God, I miss American television.
4) Grow up Drew Carey.

Nigerian Hookers

This is something I can't wait to tell my kids, "when Daddy was out of college, he played football in Europe, visited Spain and got attacked by Nigerian prostitutes as he exited a bar at 4am drunk off of CruzCampo." Who thought that the stories of my days playing football in Europe would have so little to do with football and so much to do with European night life.

I left this bar in Spain at closing time, and to be honest it was time for me to go. There's only so many times you can fall off a barstool and still be served. I make my way to in the street and immediately received what the Austrians call "Luft-Schlagen" or "the air slap" Meaning when the cold night air hits delivers an immediate, sobering blow to your rosy cheeks. Imagine my continued surprise, when in the post luft-schlagen moment I was mobbed by no less than seven Nigerian whores.

Read the rest HERE

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

He Lacks The Opposable Thumbs, Focker

In case you didn’t know. I run/own NESN. In the eyes of the Klagenfurt Hospital I am now the sole owner, operator, CEO, and President, etc of the New England Sports Network.

But how did this happen? Please allow me to explain:

We played our 4th game yesterday—a grudge match if I’ve ever seen one. Two teams, a lot of history between then, and a personal vendetta. The story goes something like this: Back in 2004 the Carinthian Black Lions were actually the “Carinthian Cowboys.” Their starting quarterback was an Austrian (which for this league is fairly rare, since most quarterbacks tend to be “imports”). This quarterback, Bernie was all run-and-gun, modeling his game after the late great the Michael Vick. The only problem was that Bernie didn’t have blazing 4.4 speed, shiftiness, or any remarkable athletic ability. Instead Bernie looked like a down and out offensive guard, with legs like a snake and an arm like a wet noodle.

Read the rest HERE

Welcome To Fitmax


With the Formerly Fat White Guy Project in full swing, I figured it is about time I showed you where we "train " here in Austria. Just a little bit different from our facilities at UConn.


Friday, May 1, 2009

"I Told That Kraut Down At The League Office..."

Like it or not, this blog is actually popular (I know!--who-woulda-thought?). something was just brought to my attention, that needs to be discussed, addressed, squashed, what-have-you.
I took down the "SCOREBOARD" that some of you early readers might remember, because in my opinion it was a little too "hey! look at me." But for the record, Thoughts From a Fat White Guy just passed 300,000 hits. Pause for celebration.

So where exactly am I going with all this? I'm trying to say Thoughts From a Fat White Guy has gone global. Until now it has been very well received....
Well recently FWG was "called out" in a blog post and news paper article by German reporter Jürgen Kalwa, who posted his rant on Football-Austria.com (screenshot below)
The point of said article (the entirety of which you can find here---get your translator ready)
The article starts off stating that "Rob Lunn has learned nothing in college" and "Even a fool can have an opinion" was that he was upset about my "interpretation" of culture--whether it be at "the spa" (FWG not used to that much nakedness), caricatures of President Obama proudly displayed on the streets of Klagenfurt (see below), as well as the style, dress, and practice habits of bar patrons and teammates a like (my sweatpants, their Canadian-Tuxedos--both in poor taste).

I have ALWAYS hoped that my writing is worth a laugh and maybe a few insights in to life as a college athlete or football player. Self-deprecation has always been the name of the game. I am not patronizing my teammates or Austrians, rather I have thought it humorous my observations on how life is different compared to the United States. I have not once said that one way of life is better than the other, because if anything being here has shown me one is NOT superior to another. Simply put, the world is smaller; we are no longer isolated nations and no man is an island. The 21st century is truly marked by the concept of the global community, barriers (political, social, and economic) are being broken down everyday.
For one person to say that my American teammates and I are ignorant, or "have learned nothing in college" is exactly the type of broad and sweeping generalization I would hope to avoid, especially from someone who is making the argument that I am the ignorant one.

After four years of college, graduating above a 3.0 with a degree in political science, being told that I do not, "understand the intricacies of a political culture" is something to which I take great offense.
I have not made political statements with my blog regarding how Austrians (or Europeans) view America, or I them. I am here with the most open of minds, truly soaking in all this country has to offer. Above all else, I am here to play football and enjoy a new (and sometimes strange) experience. The concept of "hilarity ensues" should be explained to Mr. Jürgen Kalwa -- my experiences in these situations don't make the experiences (people, places, things) bad, they make the interaction funny. FWG goes to Nude-Bath: Hilarity Ensues.
In closing, I hope that everyone continues to enjoy my Tales From Austria, whether it is on this site, NESN.com or Deadspin.
And again, a big THANK YOU for helping to reach 300,000 hits!