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Friday, August 28, 2009

THEFATWHITEGUY.COM


ALL POSTS CAN NOW BE FOUND AT:

WWW.THEFATWHITEGUY.COM

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

NEW SITE IS UP!

ALL POSTS FOR THOUGHTS FROM A FAT WHITE GUY CAN NOW BE FOUND AT

Enjoy the new site
and let me know what you think!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Two Of The Best Guys I Know

Coach Edsall announced that Alex Molina and Marcus Easley, former walk-ons are now on scholarship.

Both Easley and Molina are quietly the two of the best guys I have ever met, had the privilege of playing with, and even more distinct privilege of calling my friends.

But did you know....

Alex Molina is a water sports junkie. Yes, he's probably more at home on the river or ocean than the gridiron (see below) he also has the best hands on the team. With out exception or compromise anyone that really knows UConn Football knows that Molina is like fly paper out there.
Marcus Easley is a Connecticut native who I have been told has roots in Glastonbury (that's up for debate---but I heard him and Edsall used to be neighbors). Not to mention this past year he quietly became one of the top performers on the offense; and building off of a strong spring. Also, Easley bares a striking resemblance to that guy in HBO's The Wire. See for yourself:

Again, a big congratulations to these two deserving guys.

New Website

The new blog design is launching this week. Get excited!


Unfortunately that means that blog posts will be at a minimum---keep yourself busy.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

This Week's Sign Of The Apocalypse

Introducing "Kitlers".....

Today, I Feel Stupid.

Yes it's true, and No, it doesn't happen often. But today, I feel stupid. I am now a resident of Massachusetts---and part of my indoctrination includes weekending in the Vineyard (excuse me, "Vin-yahd"). So there I am, somewhere around The Cape, really admiring my life. In between practicing dropping my "R's" and drinking Sam Adams, I almost drove off the road:


Now, I grew up in Upstate New York. Say what you will about that part of the country, but we never had a "Meat Raffle." Shit, I don't even know what that is. I assume they are auctioning off meat products, or cuts of meat. It is either that or they are coyly advertising some male-escort service at the local V.F.W. I am the LAST one to insult any V.F.W. Post (I am a Veteran, dude)---so someone tell me, this sort of thing common in Massachusetts? And if so, I want in.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Training Camp Revisited

Look for my check in on UConn's Media Day today on NESN.COM....until then, enjoy notes from last year's training camp:

July 31, 2008

Training camp is like a dentist appointment, you dread it all month long, you see its impending approach, and when it's finally there you are sweaty and nervous and your heart races. Only unlike a dentist appointment it wont last an hour, the professional to whom you've entrusted your care isn’t trying to make you as comfortable as possible, and there really is no way to dull the pain of two-a-days.

It’s a combination of Christmas day excitement and what I think the proverbial lamb must feel on its way to slaughter. Everyone has their little routines that get them mentally prepared for the torture that lies ahead. Walking into our training camp dormitories I looked down at the carpet and thought to myself, “What is it with these industrial carpet patterns?” I read somewhere once that they make those patterns a certain way, especially in Las Vegas, to hide dirt and grit while at the same time keeping people alert. To me it's almost nauseating. The pattern of dark and light crisscross and checkered borders will only remind me of one thing: being a terrified 18 year old embarking on his first real college experience. Not eating in a dining hall, or attending his first class--instead, moving into a dorm with 104 people he didn’t know and playing a game that for the first time in his life was foreign to him. But my routine has been the same for almost 5 years now.

Go to wholesale club. Buy bottled water, Gatorade, cashew nuts, and one tin of chewing tobacco. While the water and Gatorade are for hydration, the nuts are a calorie-dense food that I consume before bed in the hopes of maintaining my weight (which I never do). And the tobacco, my most grievous vice, is to keep me awake for the endless cycle of meetings that will I will endure in the weeks to come.

Training camp is a completely outdated practice. Going back to the very roots of football, back when there was an actual “off-season” and the purpose of a two-a-day was to get the out of shape lumberjacks and insurance and car salesmen back in shape. The problem is that in football today, from professional to pee wee, there really isn’t a true “off-season." The modern football landscape and the desire for elite athletes to perform at elite levels means that after the fall there is winter conditioning and weight lifting. After the winter there is spring football practice (and more weightlifting); after the spring there is summer conditioning and lifting, and summer leads right back into fall.

But the only purpose of training camp I see that is still relevant is to turn the unfocused into machines, let go of politics and social matters (only concerns for the outside world), and become a drone memorizing defenses and formations and blocking schemes and countless line stunts. In his 1982 football recollection, The End of Autumn, one-time Kansas City Chiefs center Michael Oriard wrote "thinking was an unwanted burden, it was easier to stumble from bed to practice field, from meal to meeting, without much reflection." Under Oriard’s (astute) observation, I should probably stop writing right now. The truth is I have very little in common with the training camps of the 1920s and 30s that were associated with the birth of modern football. I am not sequestered miles from the nearest modern amenity; I sit in a college dorm with a fan, internet access, a TV, DVD player, and a cell phone.

But the grind of football is the same. Two-a-day workouts in the summer heat are still two-a-day workouts in the summer heat. And a yelling football coach is still a yelling football coach. And being out of touch with society (and reality for that matter) is also a burden. We miss girlfriends and parents and showering alone. We miss our own beds and actually being treated like adults who can manage their own time. Instead, every minute of every day is mapped out in a way that would make the Marines jealous.

What I really can't understand is that no player enjoys training camp, yet most players eventually become coaches, or should I say most coaches were once players. Yet none of them have done away with this ridiculous practice. It's like the minute the whistle blows on the last play of your last game, your mind starts to work backwards, erasing all those days you were sweating and puking your guts out in the high sun of August, and you begin to romanticize about how "when I played, men were tougher and coaches more informed--the game was harder." No. Training camp sucks. But perhaps it is a necessary evil to ensure that the bonds and ties to the game from generation to generation are never broken. After all, misery loves company.

"Leave me no compromise on things half done. Keep me with a stern and stubborn pride, and when the last fight is won, God keep me still unsatisfied."

Monday, August 17, 2009

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week




Our team nutritionist at UConn had me eating about 8,000 calories a day, trying to put on 1 a week. Michael Phelps ate 12,000 calories a day. BOOM! Olympic gold. Here, these fat guys are pioneers, showing how all of America can have a little piece of Olympic gold.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week




You know, some people might call what you just saw gross, disgusting, even shameful. Well guess what? Not me. No, I call this guy courageous. First of all where did he get that outfit? You gotta assume that's a custom job--- no way they make that leotard in his size. And then to put this on YouTube for the world to see? This is why I love America and the rest of the world hates us.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Breaking News: I'm Playing Another Season With UConn

Seriously...

Just wrote the blog here.

-FWG