Well Played, Hubert Cumberdale

I don’t watch a lot of TV around here. European programming is notoriously bad (a big hat tip to The Office, however) and Austrian TV is NO exception. My first months here I kept wondering why everyone asked me if I wanted McDonalds and if I liked Flavor-of-Love (I don’t). So for everyone who hasn’t had the pleasure of Euro-Channel surfing here is some things worth bringing to the attention of the American audience of Thoughts From a Fat White Guy:
1) Flava-Flav will be responsible for the collapse of Western Civilization. Simple as that. The amount of play that MTV and MTV2 gets over here, with that clock-wearing buffoon on repeat seemingly 24-7 I see no reasonable conclusion other than all of Europe uniting and launching an all out offensive on America, just to shut him the hell up….Boyyyyeeeeeeee!
2) Kevin Costner is a total sell out. Sorry to spoil it for all you Field of Dreams fans out here, but Costner’s career is fading quicker than his hairline. As is evidenced by this:

Yup that’s right, TURKISH AIRLINES—STARING KEVIN COSTNER AS….KEVIN COSTNER. “You’ll feel like a star.”—this does not surprise me, the Story of Us sucked---and now Turkey is the only place that Mr. Costner feels important. Although I can’t say this is a first. There is a long and storied history of American celebrities selling out in commercials overseas. Witness the Governator below. God bless YouTube.

3) Jolly Good Time On The Pitch, Herbert! Anyone who’s been following this blog for long enough knows, I’m not crazy about soccer, ehem—football—Communist Kickball. Well CNN has their sports recap, and its 95% Soccer 5% any other American sport. The anchors and the segment fancy themselves Chris Berman’s ala Sports Center, although neither is achieved. Direct quote from today’s broadcast “Oh and he takes it up—yes, a splendid swing of the leg—and the resulting goal puts Chelsea up in the early minutes” Call me ignorant, but American sports broadcasting is the best in the world. I take that back, that’s not ignorant—that’s Patriotic. Soccer deserves a splendid swing of the foot to the ass. God Bless America.