Excuse My Hiatus, Please

You will have to excuse my latest lack of "blogging"---the girlfriend came in from Vienna and I have been subsequently indisposed... anyway Walk-on-Boy has saved me. Enjoy the read and support a good cause.
-FWG

Rob kindly allowed me to guest post today because - well, he gets more traffic - and the only people who look at my site have ostensibly donated {Hooray supporting family!} and by doing this I get my annual good deed out of the way, so I don't have to scramble over the Holidays. This is also my one time of the year that I plan ahead. It's always good to get two birds stoned at once.

I'll cut to the chase: Head over to the Juvenile Diabetes site and donate if you feel so inclined. Or donate to some other charity of your choosing. You can omit a beer or burger from your weekend entertainment fund to help a great cause.

If you need a little motivation, I am shamelessly whoring myself {Not like that.} out in a Create-a-Player {In the same vein as the NCAA/Madden video game.} Contest. There will be two winners. The philanthropist who donates the most AND the one who has the most creative name {Please note with WOB in your donation note.}. Those two get to determine my accoutrement for our upcoming games {I reserve the right to veto anything that will affect actual performance or that is past the bounds of absurdity even for me. Other than that, let your creative juices flow and I will dance as your little puppet.} on May 30th {Largest donation} and June 12th {Best name}. The photo documentation will be its own blog post. Hell, I'll throw in a guest post for free. So that's determining my wardrobe and a guest post {At Walk On Boy, unless Rob gives the all clear at FWG. I haven't cleared it with him.}

Now that the nitty-gritty is out of the way, I can tell you why I care so much. Both my brother {The donation page I linked to.} and my sister {Didn't link to hers because she's much closer to her goal than our brother. Yes, she is the youngest. And the most mature of us three.} have juvenile diabetes. My brother finished up his career as a linebacker at NIU this past season and just completed his degree in Health Education. Watching him convince curious onlookers that he's shooting steroids or junk when giving insulin is always a good time. My sister is a sophomore in high school, a three sport athlete majoring in awesome {OK, so you can't have a major in high school. But she should be getting college credit.} and picked up the gift for quoting movie quotes early. She knew this whole scene from Tommy Boy before she was ten and before she'd actually seen the movie. That actually probably says more about my brother and I. How about this? She laughed at me for five minutes after I took out a handkerchief to blow my nose, and then said, "Why do you have a hanky?" Just to make you laugh, Choppity. Just to make you laugh.

They're two of the toughest people I know; I don't recall either one of them complaining about having diabetes. In fact, I think my sister just shrugged when I asked her how she was after she found out. While it can be controlled with proper treatment, diet and exercise, diabetics are at a higher risk for other health complications and it requires a constant vigil to maintain proper blood sugar levels. A cure is close, and every dollar helps.

Because I couldn't find video of Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock claiming diabetes is a 'white myth' and testing out a wheel on his foot or Jimmy Kimmel doing Karl Malone proposing a name change from diabetes to live-a-betes {The full text of the sketch is in Comment 1), here's Wilford Brimley jamming out with DIABEEEETUS.