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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St. Patrick's Day


(Hit Play)

So every St. Patrick's day, as consistent as gravity, my buddy Kevin McGuigan undoubtably sends me an email telling me "Happy St. Patrick's Day" I inevitably call him a drunk, he calls me fat, and we have a good laugh. But not before I remind him that St. Patrick was born in a Roman province, and is actually Italian. I then spend the rest of the day with a shit-eating grin on my face knowing that, "all the Irish have is a holiday celebrating an Italian." However, in honor of the highest-Irish-holiday I have decided to compile a list of the most famous Irish athletes. along with the help of my Irish roommate, Ryan McGuire.

Do you know what happens when you do a Google search for "greatest Irish athletes." A grainy picture of the most obscure boxer in history comes up. So I've decided to make him number one. John Lawrence (J.L.) Sullivan, He also was the first heavy weight champion ever of "Gloved Boxing." Coincidentally, he was also the last heavy weight champion of "Bare Knuckle Boxing." The jury is still out on how he did in "drunken-Irish-boxing" but the smart money is on "good" to "very good."

What do you call an Irishman that marries a Brazilian. Well, either lucky or Tom Brady.
Let's hear it for the Irish guys who have made good. Forget the Super Bowl rings. His off the field accomplishments are more impressive. Bridget Moynahan? Giselle Bündchen? (yeah that's a benefit of being in Austria, I can make the "ü"). I hate to put him this high on the list seeing as he is neither fat, nor unathletic. But despite his chisselled jaw, the girls he gets are still out of his league.

From the farms of French Lick Indiana, to the floor of the Garden number three is the original "Great White Hope."
Listen, I don't know if Larry Bird is actually Irish. But he played for the Celtics, so I am going to write him a pass. The guy shamelessly peddled Miller Lite and McDonald's affectionately winning the heart of every red blooded American*. Besides, isn't "everyone Irish on St. Patricks day?"
(*Much in the same way that I deny that Steve Nash is a Canadian)

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
The original Bad Boy of tennis (or the only bad boy of tennis?) John McEnroe comes in at number 4. His on the court antics, and off the court boozing make him an FWG fan favorite. I'd have put him higher, but he played tennis. Johnny Mac, can I borrow those short shorts?

"You don't want to make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"...(or drunk)
The world's greatest power lifter, David Banner. Irish through and through. Demolishing tanks? Impervious to bullets, bombs and other means of destruction? I think the IRA should start recruiting. Think about it, gets angry and is green on the inside. Those are Irish traits, friend. The Hulk is Irish. The end.

Am I missing someone? Shoot me an Email and I'll update it.

1 comment:

Bee2636 said...

Nice decoy with 'Hit Play' Rob.

Guythinks: Hit Play = leafblower action to reveal the lass.

Girlthinks: Seafoam green would have been a much better background for her brunette hair.

Erin Go Bragh, me boy!