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Thursday, March 19, 2009

This Week's Sign Of The Apocalypse AND Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week

This Week's Sign Of The Apocalypse
Your Fat White Guy Moment Of The Week MARCH 16--The Peoria Pelter remains on the loose. A week after a McDonald's employee was assaulted with a "hot greasy McGriddle sandwich," Illinois cops have yet to make an arrest. According to a Peoria Police Department report, a copy of which you'll find below, Patricia Munguia, 38, was hit in the face by a McGriddle thrown by a drive-thru customer angered that his sandwich did not include an egg.

Listen, food is not for fighting. Food is for eating. This angers me because 1, you shouldn't waste perfectly edible McDonalds, even if wasn't made to your liking. Any fat kid knows, eat it...THEN complain. So this is your fat white guy moment of the week, because anyone that assaults another human with a "hot greasy McGriddle sandwhich" is obviously over three bills.
So why this week's sign of the apocalypse?
Well, being in Europe has afforded me to look at America through the European cultural lens. If one more Austrian asks me if I wan't McDonald's I'm going to lose it. Listen up, Americans: They already see us as a nation of slobs (which I'm fine with) but we NEED to stop assaulting eachother with breakfast food. Any incident where (according the the report) the "victim needed medical attention due to assault by sausage sandwhich" just isn't good press. When people are reduced to fighting at Drive-Thru windows, violently hurling breakfast meat at eachother, well then it's gone to far.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

maybe the Peoria, IL McGriddle Chucker made these officers lose their temper...

and speaking of not throwing food away, how about this Connecticut teacher...